Yours

I know that I just wrote, but I had one of those, "Oh man I have to share" kind of moments. I was cleaning the kitchen, as I wrote before, and listing to the radio. The song Yours came on by Steven Curtis Chapman. I have heard it before, but tonight it really touched me and I want to share why. Most of you probably know about the loss of his daughter last May. Since then, I have seen the family share their story on various TV shows. They present themselves as a hurting family, but also a family that finds their strength in God alone. What touches me about this song is that Steven used this as an outpouring of his heart. In the last verse the lyrics are:

I've walked the valley of death's shadow
So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
I've had to let go of more than I could bear
And questioned everything that I believe
But still even here
In this great darkness
A comfort and hope come breaking through
As I can say in life or death
God we belong to you

This reminds me of what I recently read in John 6: starting at verse 53.
Jesus was speaking to many people, and what He said was difficult for many to hear. In verse 66 it says, "From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed Him." Then Jesus asked the Twelve disciples "You do not want to leave too, do you?" Then Simon Peter answered, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."

Tonight as I listened to the song the two of these collided and it finally sunk in that God is our only constant in this world. That even in our darkest hour He has believers in the palm of His hand providing unexplained comfort and hope. I am reminded of the many times when life was hard that I did not put my faith in the "Great Ancient of Days" and I tried to fix it. The result, I only made it worse. And by not submitting to God, I missed out on the comfort, peace and hope that He wanted to give.

So, my challenge to you all. I know that in life there will be storms that seem overwhelming and as the song states, makes you feel like you cannot breath, but hang on and cling to God with all you have. If you remain in Him, he promises that joy and blessing will come.

Stay Faithful,
Jenny

Adoption venting!

Allow me a moment to just vent. On August 21 or 22 I email Brian at Holt, our agency, to find out about the status of our progress. I wanted to know if there was anything that David and I need to be working on etc. I also wanted some clarification on our Letter of Confirmation, other families were making reference to LOA (Letter of Acceptance)and I wanted to know if the two were one of the same. His response to me was, "Yes it is and you should expect to receive it in two to four weeks." OK, the four week mark was 9/11 and we are still waiting. I know that waiting is part of the process, but I find it a little frustrating when someone tell you that something will happen in a certain time and it doesn't happen. David said, "He should have just said, 'You will get it when you get it.' that would have been better." I say all of this of course because I am looking into my son's eyes every time I turn on my computer and with each glance I grow more impatient. Maybe I should change my wallpaper. I will change it to something with mountains or a stream. Hey that reminds me,(total subject change)David and I saw a pretty good movie the other day. It was called Catch and Release. It was a love story that takes place in Boulder Colorado where the main characters are typical outdoor guys. The scenery is really beautiful. Watching the movie really got me wanting to start camping again and enjoying the great outdoors. Since marriage I have become more of an indoor girl, but from time to time the nature loving, fishing, camping girl wants to emerge. I see the same characteristics in Amelia and this makes me want to go all the more. So here is my trip. I haven't run this my David yet, but I am sure that he will be OK with it. We are going to buy a pop up camper and drive to Yellow Stone National Park and camp, hike and fish for a week. Now doesn't that sound like fun?
Well I guess I better close. I have a kitchen to clean,laundry to do and a cake to bake.

Here's to Dreaming,

Jenny